I recently had an interesting dialogue with Kofi Boateng. He is 40 years old, has 5 children, and is currently divorced. His father came to Germany 65 years ago. Kofi has been divorced 4 times and strongly believes he is never at fault. Well, let's hear what he has to say.
Question: Why do you think there is such frequent divorce among Africans in the Diaspora?
Answer: Your question isn’t appropriate. There is divorce among all groups of people. We have countries like Russia, Belgium, China, Cuba, Ukraine, and the United States in the top 10.
Question: I like your confidence; you appear to be a master in divorce issues.
Answer: He gave a smile. The story has not been different with my parents; my dad had 10 kids from 4 women, well, we are still counting.
Question: Can you mention a few reasons?
Answer: We cannot generalize the issue at stake. It is difficult to make broad conclusions about divorces; reasons vary greatly among individuals and couples.
Question: What could be some of the factors?
Answer: Cultural and social factors, language barriers, and difficulties in socialization pose challenges to relationships. My first wife was Ghanaian, and then a Ghanaian; she refused to learn the German language. For her, every German was a racist. From morning to evening, she would either be watching Ghanaian and Nigerian movies or listening to Ghanaian radio stations. She knew everything about Ghana but nothing about Germany.
Question: Does the economics of the home play any role?
Answer: Financial pressures put strain on marriages, increasing the likelihood of divorce. My second wife left me when I lost my job.
Question: Is she not working?
Answer: Have you ever married a black lady before?
Question: I am the one conducting the interview, not you.
Answer: Sure, understand this. Your money, I mean my money, is for the entire family, including her parents. Her money is for her and her alone.
Question: Does education play any role?
Answer: Lack of education makes it difficult for individuals to maintain stable relationships. As I mentioned earlier, while I was upgrading myself, my ex was busy defending politicians back home and reading the Bible. Education determines the type of job opportunities that come your way.
Question: Don’t you like politics?
Answer: I do, but their type of irresponsible politics and manipulation get on my nerves.
Question: Does paperwork affect marriages?
Answer: I think it is the number one on the list. Most of the girls will divorce you after securing their legal documents. Woe unto you if they secure the documents before you. They treat you like a rat.
Question: Who has the final say, I mean who the head of the family is.
Answer: Usually, the best brain should be. Trust me, we always have two captains in charge. It is horrible.
Question: Do gender roles ring a bell?
Answer: As traditional gender roles continue to evolve, this creates tensions within relationships. Our women are copying European values wrongly.
Question: Does religion play any role in your broken marriages?
Answer: Oh my God, it is crazy. Monday to Sunday, every day church service. Prayers upon prayers. Luckily, Germans are not religiously mad, like the country will shut down. My first wife respects her pastor more than anyone else. She sees him like God.
Question: Do you have anything against our churches?
Answer: Occasionally yes, I just don’t like the long hours of productive time put into praying. It deprives the relationship of the quality time we should be spending with one another.
Question: I know your beautiful wife.
Answer: You mean my ex. She is a different story altogether. Everything about her is fake. She has done her hips and buttocks. For outsiders, it is cool; for me, it does not give me appetite.
Question: Were you not aware?
Answer: I don’t know; her understanding of marriage will blow your mind. Let me call it a relationship. She finds nothing wrong with dating both of us at the same time. For her, hooking up and free sex are normal.
Question: Perhaps we should end the interview. Will you still insist you are never at fault?
Answer: It is a pleasure talking to you.
Question: Do you take care of your kids?
Answer: Sure, I do.
It is important to note that the reasons provided by Kofi might not be applicable to Ameka. It is necessary to approach the topic from an individual perspective.
Desmond John Beddy
https://beddy.de