The Risks of Removing Fathers from African Families in Europe

To understand the high rate of divorce and single motherhood among Africans in Europe, it is important to examine the societal and economic factors at play. Beyond that, one must understand the African traditional marriage system, which is explored in depth in the book "Coming to Germany."

Many women in the African diaspora, particularly in communities like England, Wales, and Ireland, face unique challenges in their marriages. Reports indicate that over 70% of Yoruba women in these regions are single mothers, with many evicting their husbands from the home during conflicts. This trend is prevalent across Europe.

Evicting a husband from the home may provide temporary relief, but in the long term, it creates instability and disunity within the family. Financial struggles may increase, as managing a household alone can be difficult, even with government support. Additionally, the emotional burden of being a single parent can lead to stress, burnout, and a strained relationship between the mother and her children.

Fatherless homes are often linked to a higher risk of children struggling with behavioral issues, academic difficulties, and involvement in criminal activities. The absence of a paternal figure can leave a void in the child's life, leading to poor decision-making to negative influences, including gang involvement and knife crimes. In some cases, these children may face legal issues, and sadly, some even find themselves in prison—an outcome that could be avoided with both parents actively participating in their lives.

Fathers play a crucial role in a child's development. Their presence offers balance in the home, providing not only financial support but also emotional guidance and discipline. When a father is removed from the household, children miss out on important lessons that a paternal figure brings, such as resilience, responsibility, and respect for authority. Involving the police to remove a husband from the home, especially over minor misunderstandings, can deprive children of this much-needed fatherly support.

The decision to evict a husband is often rooted in frustration. Many women feel overwhelmed, especially in countries where they have access to social welfare benefits and financial support systems that do not exist in their home countries. In some cases, women no longer see their husbands as essential providers, as they once did in more traditional settings.

Moreover, living in European countries or the U.S. often leads to a shift in power dynamics within the household. The system often favors women, especially in cases involving children, giving some women the perception that they can manage the household alone without the presence of a man. This shift, coupled with the feeling that their husbands are not fulfilling their traditional roles, can lead to resentment and a desire to take control of the situation by removing the man from the equation. Most often, the African man, whose ego is bruised, is unwilling to accept this situation and may be prepared to leave, only waiting for the right opportunity.

Relying on police intervention in family disputes not only undermines the potential for reconciliation but can also create a sense of hostility and division within the family. It is essential to remember that resolving conflicts within the family should be done through communication, mutual understanding, and sometimes external mediation—not through drastic measures that can have irreversible consequences.

Rather than resorting to eviction, women should consider alternative ways to handle conflicts with their husbands. Seeking counseling, both individually and as a couple, can help address underlying issues before they escalate. Marriage requires compromise, patience, and understanding. The challenges that arise in a foreign country, where the traditional roles of husband and wife have shifted, can be overwhelming, but they can be managed with effort from both partners. By working together, couples can create a stable and nurturing environment for their children, ensuring they grow up with the support of both parents.

Evicting a husband from the home can have serious consequences, particularly for the children involved. It is essential for women to recognize the value of a father's role in the family and approach marital conflicts with understanding and a willingness to resolve issues constructively.

The laws were originally designed to prevent exploitation and maltreatment of women, but some women have turned them into a means for personal gain, prioritizing money over family harmony. This has led to the rise of a generation of disgruntled children who lack appreciation for the family structure.

Desmond John Beddy